I dont know how to express my feelings now. Lots of bad things have been happening around me. I feel like a curse. Last week I had a bad dream. I dreamt that my uncle and my bf's dad passed away on the same day. I didnt dare to tell anyone cos Im scared they will get worried or even think that Im cursing them. So I can only keep it to myself. This dream really came true.

My uncle passed away on Monday evening. This is the first time I see someone passed away right in front of me. So sad to see such scene. Luckily they know people from the funeral trade. The wake will be held for 5 days. Mon is counted as the first day and Thurs will be the last night. Fri morning will be the day to cremate him.

Dear's dad passed away on Tuesday late afternoon. I wanted to go see him for the last time but I dont get the chance cos when my class ended, my bf was there aldy and he told me not to go anymore. I intended to go to the hospital after I shower but when I was on the way home, dear msg me and said his dad passed away already. I was shattered. I didnt know what to do. I want to go the hospital but dont know which ward, I wanted to go home but my leg was weak to move. I just stood in the middle of a pathway for 10 minutes. Finally, I decided to go home and take a shower and take a cab to dear's place to provide some of my help. I did not know that Im not supposed to be there cos I already have a wake of my extended family.

I was told by dear that I cant go over to his dad's wake until my uncle's funeral has end. It can only be after Fri afternoon then I can go over. Dear's dad burial will be on Sat. I hope I can help as much as I can on Fri night and Sat morning.

I cannot sleep well for the past few nights. Very stress. Time to go school. Tata~~~